After a womb~an gives birth, it is considered a high compliment for a someone to say to her “Wow, you can hardly tell you just had a baby.” This is a symptom of how we downplay how big this experience is. I am blessed to have created my life in a way that allows me so much time with my little one right now. My heart aches for the womb-yn who have no choice but to go back to work.
Though the cord is cut, it still exists, so please do not tell me you can hardly tell I had a baby. Because I am forever changed and I will always be able to tell. No matter what I look like. No matter how close I am to pre-pregnancy weight. My body will never be the same. I used to fear that. I was terrified of having stretch marks. I do not have any and now a part of me grieves that. Because I do not want anybody to tell me, “It hardly looks like you just had a baby.” I want to be able to life my shirt and say, “YES, YES you can! See this!”
Now I embrace this shapeshifting as part of who I am now. And that is different than who I was. I want to embrace it for me. And I want to embrace it for all of our children who grow up in a world that values the idea that everything should go back to “normal”. The body, the productivity level…I want to give our children something else. I want them to know, that it will never go back to normal. It will be better than it ever was and that will require a different level of care and attention. And it is beautiful.
Carrying life changes us. I will never be the same. And I am grateful.